Well, maybe not all of their time. But more than a third of it: According to the latest American Time Use Survey, released Thursday by the Labor Department, the average American aged 15 or older on average spent 8 hours and 44 minutes sleeping. This is infinitely more shocking than whatever those partners in leaks, Glenn Greenwald and Edward Snowden, plan to reveal next.

Who are these mysterious people? Do I live or work or drink with them? Probably not—because they're sleeping right now, or shopping (43 minutes per day!), doing stuff around the house (1 hour, 44 minutes), engaging in leisure or exercise (2 hours, 32 minutes), or watching TV (which, though a leisurely activity, gets its own category: 2 hours, 50 minutes). Sounds like a wonderful life, actually, that these average Americans have.