Joined: 28 Feb 2006
|Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2010 6:45 am Post subject: Stereotypes for Users of 40 Websites
|Pingdom told you who uses what social site. AdAge told you who uses what search engine. But what about the rest of the web? GLAD YOU ASKED.
* Facebook: Someone you kiiiiinda remember who, if you ignore them, will turn out to be a headhunter (the good kind) and if you accept, will turn out to be a headhunter (the bad kind).
* YouTube: An advanced AI that has nearly mastered swearing and is ready to move on to the rest of human language.
* Wikipedia: People screwing with Wikipedia.
* Pandora: People who left their iPods at home.
* UPS: People getting increasingly excited around midday.
* Craigslist: Your girlfriend.
* Amazon: People buying books.
* Barnesandnoble.com: Barnes & Noble employees.
* Chatroulette: Guys with their dicks out.
* Pornotube: Guys with their dicks out.
* eBay: Guys with their dicks out reflected in a teapot.
* GameSpot: Noobs who can only handle BioShock, Dragon Age, and Dante’s Inferno.
* Yahoo Games: Hardcore gamers who can plunge into the depths of Harry Potter Years 1-4.
* AOL home page: People who don’t get how the web works.
* Google home page: People who don’t get how the search bar works.
* Digg home page: People who don’t get “work.”
* Reddit: People who think Diggers are dumb.
* Metafilter: People who think Redditors are dumb.
* Slashdot: People who think people are dumb.
* WordPress: Bloggers who’d rather be coding.
* Tumblr: Bloggers who’d rather be reading.
* Blogger: Bloggers who’d rather be on WordPress. How the hell do you export from this thing?
* Livejournal: Bloggers who’d rather be dead! Then you’d finally pay them some attention! Well maybe that’s just what they’ll do, Mom!
* Xanga: The 90s.
* Club Penguin: The two’s -to-thirteen’s.
* CNN: People who think they’re reading the news.
* Fark: People who laugh at the word “news.”
* Go.com: Unimaginative people testing a computer at a store.
* Ripoffreport: Ripoff victims.
* BestBuy.com: Ripoff victims.
* Scientology.org: Ripoff victims.
* Bit.ly: People heading somewhere else.
* Gawker: Subjects of Gawker articles.
* IRS.gov: People who are way too on the ball.
* 4chan: Kids pretending to be hackers, hackers pretending to be kids, reporters pretending to be kids pretending to be hackers, child predators, child-predator predators, Han Solo.
* eHarmony: 97% of desperate singles.
* Loopt: 3% of desperate singles.
* AdultFriendFinder: People who will claim tomorrow that they were on eHarmony.
* Evite: People who still refuse to get on Facebook.
* Friendster: Jonathan Abrams, sitting in a quiet room that no one has entered in weeks. He needs a bath.